ARE YOU HAPPY?

A GUIDEBOOK TO EARNING HAPPINNESS

By Lea Colleens

Are You Happy?

A guidebook to earning Happiness

First published by Lea Colleens in 2018, in Melbourne, Australia

Copyright © Lea Colleens 2018

Cover Illustration © Lea Colleens 2018

Illustrations copyright © Lea Colleens 2018

Book design & production by P Schellens & Lea Colleens

Cover design and illustrations by Calvin Tony

Layout design and typesetting by Squeezebox

Editing by Edit This and Stephanie Ayres

ISBN 978 0 6482295 1 3 (ebook)

All rights reserved. All text and images in this book are protected by Australian and International copyright laws and all related rights shall remain the exclusive property of Lea Colleens.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior permission in writing of Lea Colleens.

The contents of this book are intended for educational and informational purposes only and must not be relied on as a substitute for obtaining your own independent professional advice tailored to your individual circumstances.

This book does not provide any medical, psychological, or psychiatric advice. While this book suggests techniques that you can adopt to become happy, not all of the techniques may be suitable for you. The author does not guarantee that by following the techniques contained in this book you will be able to achieve your desired outcome. You must seek advice from a doctor or therapist, or other appropriately qualified professional, to ensure that any techniques set out in this book are appropriate for you.

The examples provided in this book are completely fictitious and they do not bear any resemblance to any living individual, place, or real-life incidents. Any resemblance is purely coincidental and unintended. The opinions expressed in this book are those of the author and not of any association or agency, and are not meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or sentiments.

The author makes no representation as to the currency or accuracy of the contents of this book. This book is intended as a starting point only to facilitate your learning and understanding in relation to happiness.

Any reliance on the information in this book is at your own risk and you assume full responsibility for all loss resulting from your reliance.

The above disclaimers and limitations of liability are applicable to the fullest extent that is permitted by law, whether in contract, tort, statute, or otherwise.

Contents

Introduction

Part I Happiness Explained

The Recipe for Happiness

Your Master Brain

Your Ego – The Devil You Know

The Power of Wandering

Who’s the Boss in Your Head?

The Fine Line between Pleasure and Pain

Bad Hombres, Nasty Women

The Unexpected Consequences of Using the Wrong Brain

Destiny and the Human Brain

Blood Is Not Thicker than Water

In the End

Are You Ready to Rumble?

Part II Instruction Guide

Drop Your Ego and Bad Habits that Make You Go Mmm…

Go Wandering

Seek Excitement

Seek Affection

Seek Good Relationships Among the Bad

Part III The End Result

Treat Earning Happiness Like a Gym Workout

Life is not about being a miserable douchebag

Get busy living in happiness, not dying in misery

Seeking Excitement: Do’s and Don’ts

Seeking Affection: Do’s and Don’ts

The End Result: Your Master Brain is Your Best Friend for Life

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Let me ask you something. It’s a simple question, but it’s a question that’s led to scores of dumbfounded stares and torturous silences:

Are you happy?

Seriously! Are… you… happy?

Hesitating? ‘Yeeeaaah, but’, ‘I guess’, ‘Maybe…’, or ‘I think so?’

You think you are, but you’re not sure. Right?

Well then, next question: Do you know what will make you happy? The Simpsons? Santa Claus? A walk on the beach? Fluffy kittens? A baby’s smile? Sex? Getting wasted?

Hmmm… okay… we’re not on the same page here.

How do you know what will make you happy? How can you know what will make you happy? Gut feeling, intuition, propaganda?

Well, before you get ahead of yourself, here’s the million-dollar question: What is happiness? How can you possibly get something without knowing what it is?

Think about it for a minute. What is happiness? I bet the first answer that pops in your head will be something that ‘authorities’ dictated and propagandised with waves of their magic wands. Here’s the cream of the crop of failed options which have been sold to you over millennia:

•   Contentment

•   Absence of ego

•   The afterlife (Mmm hmm! But we also want to be happy while we are alive!)

•   A higher power

•   Pleasure and meaning

•   Positive thinking

•   Living in the moment

•   Self-esteem

•   Being ‘top dog’.

Sorry to break it to you, but they’re all wrong! I know… tragic!

Think long and hard about all the ‘winning’ strategies you’ve been given by your friends, neighbours, parents, partners, colleagues, teachers, world leaders, gurus, and every other false prophet scavenging the earth’s surface. Did you think they knew shit?

I mean, have these beliefs worked for them? For you? For anyone? Is the world one big happy place?

Think again.

To be frank, it’s a straightforward question, right? It doesn’t take rocket science to figure this one out… or does it?

As you stand there reading this book, in the back of your mind you’re probably still digging your heels in, believing your life is hunky dory. Yet somehow, you’re still asking yourself the same million-dollar question over and over again, pondering, wondering. What is happiness? Am I happy?

Well, the search is over. You’ve come to the right place – and just in time!

Here’s the first little giveaway:

Happiness is a state of mind in which you have certainty of future pleasures

Or, put more simply:

Happiness is certainty of future pleasures

Do you get it?

If you work towards getting what you want in your life, then, sure, you’ll reap some rewards. Nice things like sex, love, money, wealth, time (don’t you just love that?), and success. These are the rewards and pleasures you gain throughout your life as a result of what you put into it. But they don’t in themselves bring real happiness.

Real happiness is when you are certain that a whole lot more of those rewards are on their way.

It’s that simple. So, now you know the answer, what next? A definition is cool, but where’s that gonna take us?

You’ve been told time and time again that there are certain things that ‘matter’ in life: contentment, love, helping the homeless, scoring that hot chick, getting your end-of-year bonus, graduating from university, giving thanks, Facebook likes, a new job promotion. We make believe that there is more to life than happiness, but really, everything you do is ultimately in pursuit of happiness.

You may think everything you’ve been going after and looking for will lead to happiness, but how do you really know – or will you end up settling for less than happiness?

Life doesn’t have to be a constant hamster wheel of misery and suffering, despite the fact that the device in your lounge room (called a ‘colour television’) is constantly telling you to accept life as they show it, seducing you to settle for less than happiness.

You’ve been served a repetitive cycle of rules and advice passed down through horrendously tedious, difficult, and often hard-to-comprehend doctrines that promised the Earth but never delivered. In truth, you were misguided, misinformed, and misled about happiness from the start.

It’s time to rock the boat, forget the glamourised garbage that has bombarded your brain with gimmick after gimmick of never-ending brands and status symbols endorsed by the most outstandingly hot-shit celebrities on planet Earth, dazzling you with their display of make-believe happiness; convincing you to go after everything they do, wear, act, buy, and seek, and keep on wishing to be just like them. That is not happiness. It is settling for less than happiness.

Does happiness matter to you? Because if it doesn’t, we have a problem here, Houston.

If it does, you need to know what happiness is so that you can stop going after things that won’t bring happiness. So that you never settle for less than happiness.

This book will let you go on an adventure, taking you places you’ve never before explored in the wonderful, beautiful, adventurous world of happiness.

It will show you how to earn happiness with well-structured explanations and clearly-defined instructions. But! A word of warning: This book is not for the faint-hearted. It won’t lead you by the hand. And make no mistake, you can’t simply choose or decide to be happy. You either want to earn it, or you don’t. Simple as that.

If you’re unhappy, just admit it! Stop denying that you’ve been chasing failed alternatives for years on end. This book will overturn what you’ve probably been told all your life – that the ultimate answer to happiness lies within the greatest philosophical minds of human history, from Buddha to Kim Kardashian. It hasn’t worked for you, has it?

Admit you’re unhappy. If you can’t, the only alternative is denial.

Ciao!

Oh! You’re still here? So, now you’re getting the mental picture, are you ready to rock and roll? You are?!

Let’s go!